Brava Musica Eterne
by Cherenmay
Summary: Hermione and the rest of the school are faced with a curse that has them singing and, to say the least, a little miffed. A Musical in the Making for Hogwarts!
1. Chapter 1

Yes, yes, I know that this idea is cliché, but I thought that it sounded like fun, so I did it anyway. I'm planning on doing about two or three songs a chapter, but I started this one with only one because it's the beginning. There will be different songs from different musicals, but there's a plot going through this. Ok, well, read on!  
  
Disclaimer: all Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowlings.  
  
Harry Potter and the Curse of the Musicals  
  
~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 1 ~`~`~`~`~  
  
Somewhere, in the dark recesses of Hogsmeade, a figure wearing a dark cloak stepped out from the shadows. He approached a small pub that had an old sign with faded words reading "The Hog's Head." He sat himself down at the bar and ordered a drink. After finishing his rather large glass of Ogden's Firewhisky, he paid the bartender. He stood to leave and looked out at the silhouette of Hogwarts castle. He had to get there.  
  
He pulled his cloak about him closer and began to walk in the direction of the Wizarding School. As he went, a strange melody seemed to float out from nowhere and enveloped him. He smiled grimly and let his hood fall from him and exposing his face. He looked about at the wind, almost seeing the notes twirling around him. He whispered something incomprehensible to the music and it moved away for the direction of the castle. Smiling again, he began to sing along with the music. No words, just notes.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
Far off in the castle of Hogwarts, at the exact same moment as the man was singing, a girl in the sixth year dormitories sat straight up. She looked around. She was sure that she could hear someone singing. Someone nearby, and yet far away too. Confused, she lay back down and fell back to sleep.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
The man saw her, saw her awake and look around. Saw her try to make sense of what she heard. He smiled and focused on her. He looked about to make sure no one could see him. He took a deep breath and said his curse. "Brava Musica Eterne." He smiled one last time, and continued on his trek to the castle. It would only be a matter of time before his plan would take effect. By the time morning came everything would begin. He kept walking as he sang, knowing that his voice was infiltrating the girl's dreams. It was only a matter of time...  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
"Come on, Hermione, wake up."  
  
Someone was pulling on her sleeve and pushing her around. She groaned and opened her eyes. "What is it?"  
  
The morning had come and an anxious Lavender Brown was trying to rouse her dorm-mate. The day had only just begun, but already everyone could sense that something was different than yesterday. All Lavender wanted was for Hermione to wake up and explain the strange feeling that was emanating from the school.  
  
"Fine, I'm up, I'm up," Hermione said sleepily. She sat up in her bed quickly and felt like falling right back down and covering her head with her covers.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Hermione, too, could feel the stifling magic that was surrounding everything and filled the air. She didn't know what exactly to make of it, but it eventually seemed to dissipate a little as she woke.  
  
Lavender looked around uncertainly with her hands on her hips. "I don't know. I was hoping that you could explain it. It feels odd, you know? And you're Little Miss Know-It-All, so I thought that you could explain it."  
  
She looked about with a puzzled frown. "I can't make sense of it, but it reminds me of a dream I had. Last night. I was sure that I had this same feeling." She shrugged her shoulders. "Ah, well, it's probably just some fluke. Come on, let's go to breakfast.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
At breakfast, everyone was talking in hushed tones about the strange new feeling the castle seemed to create. Hermione made her way to her seat beside her best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.  
  
"Good morning," she said to them cheerfully. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
They only nodded in response for their mouths were too full of food to speak properly. Hermione smiled at them and began to dish up for herself.  
  
"Potions first thing today," Ron said to them as soon as his mouth was emptied of food. "Double. With Slytherins. Pity."  
  
Both Harry and Hermione groaned as they pulled out their timetables for confirmation. "Damn. Seeing Malfoy so early in the morning can't be good for one's health," Harry said bitterly as he finished off his eggs.  
  
Hermione sympathized, but found herself looking forward to the class. Sure, Snape was rude and Malfoy was callous and the Slytherins liked nothing better than to humiliate her, but Potions was a good thing to learn. And she really wanted to master it, just as she had mastered all of her other classes.  
  
Once they had all finished their breakfasts, they headed off to the dungeons for class. And that was when things really began to get strange.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
"Today we shall be making a simple sleeping draught, something that you should all be familiar with. I expect nothing less than perfection. The instructions are on the board." Snape pointed to a board behind him and a list of directions seemed to materialize from within the board. "You have one hour." He retreated to his desk and began to mark papers.  
  
The class hurried to get their supplies and cauldrons all set up to make it by the deadline. Of course, barely ten minutes into the class, Neville Longbottom's cauldron exploded and showered the class with his potion. Luckily, it was hardly more than lavender-water. After Snape sent off two of the students who had been a bit scalded to the hospital wing, he rounded on Neville.  
  
"Stupid boy!" he cried. "If you want to make a potion you have to ..." All of a sudden, music flowed into the room as Snape was talking. "You have to be gentle, confident, precise." The music started up full blast and a terribly confused Professor began to sing.  
  
"Doin' Potions  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
Oh, it sets your senses in a whirl.  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
Watching all the fumes unfurl."  
  
Snape moved about the room to settle himself between two surprised students and proceeded to wave about his wand.  
  
"Oh it's fun to cast a spell and wave a wand,  
  
Or undo a Dark Arts bond,  
  
But you'll find it's twice as sportin'  
  
Doin' Potions."  
  
He moved over beside Neville again and looked at him condescendingly.  
  
"Oh, there's lots of things you gotta know,  
  
Be sure the fire temp. is low.  
  
You step on up and raise your hand.  
  
Let me tell you fellas that it's grand.  
  
You sit and watch a little while,  
  
You find you've got a half a smile.  
  
You stir it up and move away  
  
And then the strategy comes into play."  
  
He walked over to the front of the room and looked at them all through narrowed eyes. Everyone could tell that he had no idea why he was singing.  
  
"Doin' Potions  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
If you find it hard to be precise  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
Here's a little Educational advice.  
  
Chop it up and put it to the side  
  
Leave it be or you will surely die  
  
That is what's known as important  
  
Doin' Potions."  
  
Now the class found that they were somehow being used by the same force as what was making Snape sing. Neville raised his hand.  
  
"What about boxing?" he asked.  
  
"With lots of toxins?" Snape continued, though his eyes showed how confused he was.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And you're longing just to throw a case."  
  
Now Pansy Parkinson raised her hand. "What about shaking?"  
  
"And absolutely faking?" interrupted Malfoy.  
  
Harry looked around uneasily. "Uh, suppose it up and splashes your face?"  
  
Snape continued his little song.  
  
"Just remember if it starts to reek,  
  
Just go and give it another week.  
  
Pretty soon it's all in motion  
  
Doin' Potions."  
  
The Professor began to climb up onto his deck and started to waltz around as he sang.  
  
"Doin Potions," he sang.  
  
"Doin' Potions!" the class echoed.  
  
"At an assembly or presentation.  
  
Doin' Potions  
  
You'll impress me with your education."  
  
"You mean, everybody knows how to do potions?" Dean Thomas asked.  
  
"Uh-huh," said Snape.  
  
"It's how a real party's set in motion.  
  
It should build up your devotion  
  
Doin' Potions."  
  
The whole class began to dance around for a few minutes as the music continued.  
  
Finally, as the music slowed down a bit, the class began to yell.  
  
"Keep your charmin'  
  
And transfigurin'  
  
And defensin'  
  
And divinin'  
  
And plantin'  
  
'Cause we're doin' Potions!"  
  
The music stopped and everyone stared at their professor. Needless to say, he was as stunned as they were with his impromptu performance. He turned on them with narrowed eyes. "If I hear about any of you telling anybody what just happened here, I will be sure to have you expelled! Class dismissed!" He swept out of the room with a dramatic swish of his cloak.  
  
"What was that all about?" Harry asked to no one in particular.  
  
The class shrugged and filed out of the classroom.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
Ok, so there's the first chapter. Did you know what song that was? It was my variation on "Goin' Co'tin" from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. OH, and if you read this, I'd like to ask you to please read my other story. It's called "A Time to Remember." Well, please review! 


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, another chapter. Yes, it may not be good, but it's fun to write so read it!  
  
Disclaimer: all to J.K. Rowling  
  
~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 2 ~`~`~`~`~  
  
As the class made their way to the Great Hall, Hermione couldn't help but wonder what had happened inside of Snape's classroom. Had it been some sort of curse, or a potion gone awry, or was everybody just seeing too many musicals?  
  
She looked to Harry, who, by the expression on his face, was just as confused as she was. "What happened in there?" she asked him without really expecting an answer.  
  
He shrugged. "I dunno, but it seemed perfectly natural, didn't it? Like we just had to sing and the words just sort of popped into your head. I knew what Snape was going to say before he said it. It was weird."  
  
Ron, interrupting of course, said, "But it was pretty funny though, right? I mean, did you see the look on Snape's face? He looked about ready to die. I don't think I've ever seen him like that before." He and Harry laughed. "I'd bet all my money that if he ever has to sing again, he'll kill himself."  
  
With a withering glance at her friends, she began to sort through her book bag as they walked. With a cry of triumph, she pulled out her timetable. "Ah, here it is! All right, we just got out of Potions, so next we have...Transfiguration. Oh that's good. I do love a good transfiguration."  
  
Ron rolled his eyes. "You, Hermione, love anything that somehow relates to school. Don't you know how to have fun?"  
  
She glared at him from over her timetable. "Of course I do, Ron. What else could you call all that time in the library?"  
  
Ron and Harry laughed just as a swell of music engulfed them. Ron began to sing.  
  
"You need a life, mother,  
  
You need laughs, sister,  
  
We've got freedom, brother,  
  
She needs good times, man,"  
  
He turned to Harry with a dumbfounded look as Harry took over the song.  
  
You need crazy ways, daughter,  
  
You need million dollar charm, cousin,  
  
You've got headaches, and toothaches  
  
And we're getting bad times too  
  
From you."  
  
Now, in perfect unison:  
  
"You've got your hair  
  
You've got your head  
  
You got your brains  
  
You got your ears  
  
You got your eyes  
  
You got your nose  
  
You got your mouth  
  
You got your teeth  
  
You've got your tongue  
  
You've got your chin  
  
You've got your neck  
  
You've got your tits  
  
You got your heart  
  
You got your soul  
  
You got your back  
  
You've got your ass!"  
  
Hermione stared at them in shock as passing people laughed at the two singing Gryffindors. They looked completely embarrassed by what they were saying, but could do nothing to stop it, no matter what they tried. The song just kept coming.  
  
"You've got your arms  
  
You've got your hands  
  
Got your fingers got your legs  
  
Got your feet got your toes  
  
Got your liver  
  
Got your blood.  
  
But you need life, mother  
  
You need laughs sister  
  
We've got freedom brother  
  
And you need good times, good times, man  
  
You need crazy ways, daughter  
  
You need million dollar charm, cousin  
  
You've got headaches and toothaches  
  
And we've got bad times too  
  
From you.  
  
Aaaah!"  
  
They began to dance wildly around the corridor as students cheered them on and laughed at Hermione's horrified expression.  
  
"Got your hair, got your head  
  
Got your brains, got your ears  
  
Got your eyes got your nose  
  
Got your mouth  
  
You got your teeth.  
  
Got your tongue got your chin  
  
Got your neck got your tits  
  
Got your heart got your soul your back  
  
You got your ass!  
  
You've got your arms got your hands  
  
Got your fingers got your legs  
  
Got your feet got your toes  
  
Got your liver got your blood  
  
Got your guts, got your muscle  
  
But you need life, life, life, life, life,  
  
Liiiii-hiiiiiiife!"  
  
They finished gasping and panting for breath with a huge round of practically maniacal applause. They stood up, both their faces the color of Ron's hair, and went to Hermione, apologizing the whole way.  
  
"Really, Hermione, we have no clue where that came from," Harry panted.  
  
"Yeah," Ron continued between breaths. "We don't...know where...that...came from."  
  
She harrumphed, her eyes narrowed, but linked arms with them just the same. "Come on," she grumbled and steered them in a different direction.  
  
Ron, noticing first, asked, "Where are we going?"  
  
Hermione, after giving him a 'be quiet' glare, said to him, "To Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I know now that that little episode in Snape's room wasn't just a fluke. Something's going on and I intend to figure out what. After your little performance, I'm sure that there's bound to be someone else terribly embarrassed before too long. Now, come on." She pulled them along faster down the hall and away from curious and prying eyes.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
Inside of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, they were huddled around one of the sinks talking. Luckily for them, Myrtle happened to be absent at the time, no doubt sulking down somewhere in the nether regions of the school's plumbing system.  
  
"We have to figure this out," Hermione said as she sat down harshly on the floor. "There simply must be some sort of answer. I don't think that I could take another one of your songs about my anatomy anytime soon." Both Ron and Harry turned a bright crimson. "Besides, I have no desire to start singing either."  
  
Harry smirked. "Why? Don't want to do a song about our anatomy?" She glared and threw her book bag at him, hitting him square in the face. "Bloody hell, Hermione! It was just a joke! Do you have to be so violent?"  
  
She laughed roughly. "Just goes to show you that I can take care of myself. And anyone else who comes along." Music filled the bathroom and Hermione groaned inwardly, knowing that her worst fear was about to happen.  
  
"There are worse things I could do," she sang  
  
"Then hit a boy  
  
Or two.  
  
Even though the whole school thinks I'm brainy  
  
And so good  
  
I suppose it could be true  
  
But there are worse things I could do."  
  
She glanced despairingly at her two laughing friends. She knew that her musical silence could only last so long.  
  
"I could hurt all of you guys  
  
Smack all you and chop you down to size  
  
Make it seem like just a dance  
  
Make you think you stand a chance  
  
Then go and bruise them black and blue  
  
That's a thing I'd never do."  
  
Glaring once again, she continued with her silly and altogether out of place ditty that had absolutely no value whatsoever.  
  
"I could go out every night  
  
Take a chance with all the guys  
  
Make out with them every day  
  
And throw my life away  
  
Over dreams that didn't come true  
  
I could hurt someone like me  
  
Out of spite or jealousy  
  
I don't steal and I don't lie  
  
But I can feel and I can cry  
  
A fact I'll bet you never knew  
  
But to cry in front of you  
  
That's the worse thing I could do."  
  
The music slowly went away and she looked down at the floor, totally and utterly embarrassed.  
  
"Well, that was totally pointless," she heard Ron say. She looked up.  
  
"What do you mean?" Her injured pride was getting the best of her.  
  
He turned to look at her. "What I mean is what did that accomplish? It didn't even make sense half the time. At least our song sort of fit in to what we had been saying. Yours just sort of popped up without so much as an explanation. Although, I must say it, you do sing better than Harry and I do, but," he grinned impishly, "none of us compare to Snape."  
  
They laughed all together and remembered his horrified look as he sang about his beloved potions. Before long, though, their laughter annoyed a certain whiny ghost and she flew in their direction, screeching and moaning.  
  
"What do you think you're doing here? Laughing at me, no doubt. Just because I'm a ghost. An ugly, miserable, and silly little ghost!" She looked at them all slowly. "Ooh, I can't stand any of you!"  
  
Ron calmed down. "We weren't laughing at you Myrtle. We're laughing about Snape."  
  
She didn't buy it. "Snape? Snape?! You expect me to believe that you're laughing about Snape?!" She shot into his face. "I don't believe you. Oh!" Angry and low music filled the room and the three students faces fell, for they knew what was coming.  
  
"Just you wait, Ronald Weasley  
  
Just you wait.  
  
You'll be sorry but your tears'll be too late.  
  
You'll be dead and I'll be sunny  
  
Will I help you?  
  
Don't be funny  
  
Just you wait, Ronald Weasley  
  
Just you wait  
  
She stomped (at least, she stomped as well as a ghost can) around the other three, stopping to glare at Hermione  
  
Just you wait, 'Mione Granger  
  
Till you're sick  
  
And you screams to fix your doctor  
  
Double quick  
  
I'll leave you to face your fate or  
  
Get eaten by an alligator  
  
Ho-ho, 'Mione Granger  
  
Just you wait  
  
Now, she stood in front of Harry, glaring until her eyes were nearly bulging out of her transparent head.  
  
Oooh, Harry Potter  
  
Just you wait until you're swimming in the lake  
  
Oooh, Harry Potter  
  
And you go under and begin to suffocate  
  
When you yell you're gonna drown  
  
I'll be happy as a clown  
  
Oh-ho-ho, Harry Potter  
  
Oh-ho-ho, Harry Potter  
  
Just you wait!  
  
The music slowed and prettied up a bit as she began to dance around in circles across the bathroom.  
  
One day I'll be famous  
  
I'll be proper and prim  
  
Never see you so often  
  
What a nice way to live  
  
One evening Dumbledore  
  
Says 'oh, Myrtle, old thing  
  
I want all of Hogwarts  
  
Your praises to sing  
  
Next year on the 20th of May  
  
I proclaim Moaning Myrtle day!  
  
All the students will celebrate the glory of you  
  
And whatever you wish and want I gladly will do'  
  
Thanks a lot, man, says I in a manner well bred.  
  
But all I want are Ron, Hermione, and Harry's  
  
Head  
  
She marched around with a sickeningly triumphant look on her face.  
  
"Done, he will say with a stroke  
  
Guards come and bring in the blokes!  
  
Then they'll march all of you right to the wall  
  
And Dumbledore'll say "Myrtle sound the call!"  
  
As they raise their wands up higher  
  
I'll shout "Ready! Aim! Fire!"  
  
Oh-ho-ho, all you three!  
  
Down you'll go, all you three!  
  
Just you wait!"  
  
The music disappeared and left Myrtle staring at them totally bemused. Her mouth flopped about like a fish out of water as she turned from one to the other, obviously searching for an explanation.  
  
"Wha--What was that?" she stuttered.  
  
Hermione smirked at her expression. "That's what made us laugh at Snape. He started singing in the middle of class. In fact, I have a suspicion that the entire school's been singing all day. The three of us, too." She grimaced. "I don't much care for singing, really."  
  
Harry laughed at her. "And you think that the rest of school does? I only hope that the rest of the teachers are as amusing as Snape is."  
  
Hermione smacked her hand to her forehead. "Oh, my goodness! We're late! Transfiguration starts in less than five minutes! Come on, you guys!" She grabbed her book bag from the ground, swung it over her shoulder, snatched both of her friend's wrists, and ran out of the bathroom with a hasty farewell to Myrtle as the door closed behind them.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
Another chapter. Not very good, I know, but it's fun to write, so flame all you want, I'll just continue to post it. The songs this time are "I've Got Life" from Hair, "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" from Grease, and "Just You Wait" from My Fair Lady. Well, review and tell me what you think! 


	3. Chapter 3

~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 3 ~`~`~`~`~  
  
Barely in time for class had the trio slammed into their seats. Professor McGonagall glanced at them sternly from behind her spectacles, but didn't say anything. She took roll and began to teach them how to turn a raindrop into a rose. So far, though, only Hermione could figure it out.  
  
"Class!" she called above the roar of chatter and spell casting. "Class, listen to me! You have to enunciate the words properly. Dauerruse! Dow- wer-roos! Do you understand?"  
  
Still, no one could successfully change the raindrop to a rose. The closest attempt gave the drop an odd rose shape or turned red, but was nowhere near becoming solid.  
  
McGonagall flung her hands high above her head in defeat. "It isn't that difficult! It's the same thing we've been doing all year! It's all very simple! Raindrops to roses, whiskers to kittens." Again, much to the amusement of Ron and Harry, and the disappointment of Hermione, music floated in on some invisible thread. McGonagall began to sing.  
  
Bright copper kettles to warm woolen mittens  
  
Brown paper packages turn into strings  
  
These are a few transfiguring things.  
  
Cream into ponies  
  
And crisps into strudel  
  
Doorbells to sleigh bells to schnitzel with noodles  
  
To wild geese to flies to bright colored wings  
  
These are a few transfiguring things.  
  
Girls to white dresses to blue satin sashes  
  
Snowflakes to hay to a nose or eyelashes  
  
Just like silver white winters will turn into springs  
  
These are a few transfiguring things.  
  
When the Charms fail  
  
When the Potion clings  
  
When I'm feeling sad  
  
I simply remember transfiguring things  
  
And then I don't feel  
  
So bad.  
  
The music stopped and McGonagall clamped a hand over her mouth. She stared at the class with wide eyes as though she were hoping above hope that she had just dozed off and dreamt the whole thing.  
  
When no one said anything she took her shaking hand away from her face and said in a quivering voice, "This should be reported to Professor Dumbledore immediately. I--I think that I ought to go and tell him. Class dismissed." She ran from the room in a swish of robes and bobble of her crooked hat.  
  
Hermione glanced at her friends in disbelief. They only shrugged their shoulders back at her. The rest of the class began to file out and she grabbed her bag to keep up.  
  
As she and the boys were strolling down the hall on their way to their dormitories, she looked at them in confusion.  
  
"Do you think we should be worried about all the singing?" She wrung her hands a little nervously. "I mean, it's kind of odd, don't you think? Do you think it's got something to do with Voldemort?"  
  
Ron gritted his teeth, but Harry looked at her as though just noticing she was there. "Voldemort?" he said slowly. "Hmm, I hadn't thought of that." He shrugged. "It's just singing, though. It's not like there's something that's going to kill us or anything."  
  
"Oh, I know that, Harry," she scoffed. "It's just that...oh, I don't know what I mean."  
  
"What will this end up like?  
  
I wonder  
  
What will the ending be?  
  
I wonder  
  
It could be so exciting  
  
A chance for us to sing and be free  
  
My heart should be wildly rejoicing  
  
Oh, what's the matter with me?"  
  
She glanced pleadingly at her friends who were smirking at her.  
  
"I always long for musicals  
  
To do the things they never dared  
  
Now here I'm facing musicals  
  
But why am I so scared?  
  
A chorus with several lyrics  
  
What's so fearsome about that?  
  
Oh I must stop these doubts, all these worries  
  
If I don't I just know I'll turn back  
  
I must wait for the things I am seeking  
  
I am seeking the courage I lack"  
  
Hermione stood between them and linked her arms with theirs and began to march them down the hallways ceremoniously.  
  
"The courage to sing songs with reliance  
  
Face my mistakes without defiance  
  
Show you I'm worthy  
  
And while I show you  
  
I'll show me"  
  
She began to make them run alongside her down the halls as the passerby laughed and a prefect or two tried to stop them, but they couldn't keep up with her fast pace.  
  
"So...  
  
Let them bring on all their singing  
  
I'll do better than my best  
  
I have confidence I'll be put to the test  
  
But they'll have to agree  
  
I have confidence in me  
  
Some how I will impress you  
  
I will be clear and loud  
  
And all those choruses, Heaven bless them  
  
They will be so easy and I'll be  
  
With each step a little more certain  
  
That everything'll turn out fine  
  
I have confidence the music is all mine  
  
You'll have to agree I have confidence in me  
  
I have confidence in arpeggios  
  
I have confidence in refrain  
  
I have confidence that choruses come again  
  
Besides notes you see I have confidence in me  
  
Sound doesn't lie in numbers  
  
Sound doesn't lie in wells  
  
Sound lies in rehearsals and practice  
  
When you rehearse, rehearse!  
  
I tell you all I sing I give my heart to  
  
All I sing becomes my own  
  
I have confidence in confidence alone"  
  
She stopped and looked to Harry and Ron and breathed a sigh of, "Oh, help."  
  
"I have confidence in confidence alone"  
  
She thrust out her chest and gripped their arms tighter before sprinting off to the end of the hall at the portrait of the Fat Lady.  
  
"Beside notes you see  
  
I have confidence in meeeeeeee!"  
  
She stopped abruptly and looked up at the portrait sheepishly to avoid the eyes and laughs and snide remarks of her friends. The Fat Lady looked highly amused, but let them in anyhow with the password which was, kind of ironically, "confidence."  
  
As soon as they crawled through the Portrait hole and into the common room, Harry and Ron began to tease her mercilessly.  
  
"Again you sing, Hermione," Ron said to her. "That makes twice already. It's really quite funny you know."  
  
Hermione shoved him roughly by the shoulder before sitting down next to a bewildered Seamus and a large group of Gryffindor girls from the third year up. They had all been listening to Seamus talk about himself with rapt attention and were not exactly pleased to see a disgruntled Hermione so rudely interrupt.  
  
She turned to the sandy-haired Irishman with a grumpy, "'Lo, Seamus." He quickly replaced his confused open-mouthed stare to a flirtatious and cocky grin.  
  
"Oh, Hermione, what a pleasure," he said in a smooth voice. "We were just talking. Perhaps you'd like to join in?"  
  
She looked at him coolly and took in the crowd of girls around him. "No, no, that's all right Seamus. You seem to have enough girls in your little fan club for the time being. I might join in when you get below the forty person count."  
  
He grinned good-naturedly. "Oh, that's all right, 'Mione. No hard feelings." With a quick glance at his little harem, he turned to her and whispered, "I'm actually having a tough time with the lot of them. Who knew that girls were so much trouble? Ever since that little gym excursion over the summer I haven't been able to get rid of them. You should see how it is at the Great Hall. There are nearly a hundred of them. In here it's like being on holiday. Only Gryffindors and sometimes Padma Patil on her sister's invitation. I'd a never guessed that having a reputation with the opposite sex could be so troublesome, and yet so much fun. It's like I have the school's whole female population at my beck and call. And all the guys are coming to me with their girl problems. I think I could get used to this."  
  
Music sprang into the room as though an orchestra were situated not even ten feet away; a nice jazzy beat with really loud Bum, Bum, Bum-ba-dum-ba- dum over and over again. Seamus gave them one wide-eyed look before bursting into song.  
  
"The name on everybody's lips is gonna be  
  
Seamus  
  
The guy who's givin' all the tips is gonna be  
  
Seamus  
  
I'm gonna be a celebrity  
  
That means someone that everyone knows  
  
They're gonna recognize my eyes  
  
My hair, my teeth, my tongue, my nose."  
  
His little entourage of girls was giggling uncontrollably at the thought of his tongue.  
  
"From just some dumb Hogwarts sidekick I'm gonna be  
  
Seamus  
  
Who says that flirting's not an art?  
  
And, who in case he's never missed,  
  
Can say he started with a kiss?  
  
Seamus; me."  
  
He stood from the couch and began to walk in a really seductive way around all the girls who still couldn't control their giggles. As he snapped his fingers with the beat they began to stand up with his command of "Girls." They took over his singing.  
  
"They're gonna wait outside in line to get to see  
  
Seamus"  
  
Seamus cut in-  
  
"Think of all the girls that'll be mine and be with me  
  
Seamus"  
  
Parvati and Padma Patil walked up on either side of him and hung on him in a very school inappropriate fashion.  
  
"And I'll be there with a pair  
  
Of twins with long legs up to their waist"  
  
They giggled and sang:  
  
"Here a twin, there a twin, everywhere a twin, a twin"  
  
He continued:  
  
"But always with the best of taste!"  
  
He let the girls go and walked up to Hermione. She stared at him in a state somewhere between disgust and amusement.  
  
"Mmmm, I'm a star  
  
And the girls love me  
  
And I love them  
  
And they love me for loving them  
  
And I love them for loving me  
  
And we love each other  
  
And that's because none of us got enough love in our childhoods  
  
And that's romance  
  
Kid."  
  
The girls crowded around him as they sang.  
  
"He's givin' up his humdrum life he's gonna be"  
  
"SING IT!" Seamus cried.  
  
"Seamus  
  
He made a scandal and a start"  
  
He let go of his girls and strode up with a wild and jerky dance.  
  
"And Draco Malfoy'll shit I know  
  
To see his rep. go down below  
  
Seamus; me!"  
  
His girls kept calling out "Seamus" in sultry voices as the music calmed down. And, of course, slowly but surely they began to come back to their senses and they all looked at one another in surprise at what they'd just done. That is, all but Parvati and Padma who were too giggly at the fact that they'd actually got to hang on THE Seamus Finnegan that they'd been mooning over for months.  
  
Seamus turned to Hermione in a frantic and frightened state. "Hermione? Wh-What was th-that?"  
  
She gave him a sympathetic glance and turned to Harry and Ron. "You know, this might not kill us by physical means, but it's likely to make us wish we were dead from the embarrassment. I think McGonagall's got the right idea. Dumbledore needs to know. Come on." And with that they were out of the common room and on their way to the Headmaster's office.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
Ok, another fun chapter. It's been a while, but it's still fun to write. If you're waiting for the plot, don't worry, it's coming. This chapter's songs were my versions of "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music, "I Have Confidence" from the Sound of Music, and "Roxie" from Chicago. Ok, review. 


	4. Chapter 4

~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 4 ~`~`~`~`~  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran to the gargoyle statue at the end of one of Hogwarts numerous halls and then, much to the surprise of Ron and Hermione, Harry called out the password.  
  
"Droobles!"  
  
As they went up the circular staircase, they stared at him. He shrugged. "Dumbledore gave it to me so that I might come to him if I have anymore of those dreams like I had last year. He doesn't want me to do something stupid like last time." He shuddered. "Who knows, it could be one of you that I lose next time."  
  
Hermione, the tears welling in her eyes, leaned forward to hug him, but just then Professor McGonagall pushed by them looking very flustered indeed.  
  
With a loud "Out of my way, children!" and a shove she was gone.  
  
The trio glanced at each other, but kept going up till they reached the Headmaster's door. It was still open a crack. Hermione leaned forward and looked in.  
  
Dumbledore stood behind his desk with his hands behind his back and looking out of one high window. He made a very pretty picture to her, with the one light source in the whole room shining on him and the darkness surrounding him from all sides. Ron tried to push past her, but she stopped him.  
  
"Shh," she whispered to him. He stopped in frustration and bewilderment, but obeyed her order.  
  
Hermione heard the low rhythmic notes of something akin to a cello or bass and knew what was coming.  
  
"Is anybody there?" sang Dumbledore, still with his back turned to them. The solemn call of a trumpet answered him.  
  
"Does anybody care?  
  
Does anybody see what I see?"  
  
He sighed and dropped his hands to his side in frustration.  
  
"He wants me to quit  
  
He says, 'Al, give up the fight.'  
  
Still, to Dark Lords I say  
  
'Goodnight. Forever, goodnight!'"  
  
His cry came triumphant and ringing, echoing through his dim office.  
  
"For I have come  
  
To Hogwarts  
  
Let the bridge be burned behind me  
  
Come what may, come what may.  
  
To victory!"  
  
The sound caused all three of the eavesdroppers to jump with a loud sound, but Dumbledore was so engrossed with his song that he didn't even notice.  
  
"His followers all say we'll rue the day  
  
'There'll be hell to pay!'  
  
It might all be purgatory  
  
But through all the gloom, through all the gloom  
  
I can see the rays of ravishing Light and Glory!"  
  
The tune had taken on an almost frantic turn. The music was quicker, triumphant, determined, and it all caused the tears to return to Hermione's eyes, shivers to run up her spine, and the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end.  
  
"Is anybody there?  
  
Does anybody care?  
  
Does anybody see what I see?"  
  
She could feel Ron and Harry frozen behind her, but her limbs began to shake in anticipation and something like excitement.  
  
"I see fireworks  
  
I see the curses, the pomp and parade  
  
I hear the bells ringing out  
  
I hear the Dark Lord's roar.  
  
I see Wizardkind  
  
All Wizardkind free  
  
Forever more!"  
  
The music slowed and Dumbledore's stature went from strong and sure, to more stooped and age in the blink of an eye. Hermione felt as though she had had a glimpse of the man that had once been young and full of fire and hope for the future only to see him turn into something beyond that which Dumbledore was now. It was like an age and a half had gone by and she had witnessed the peak as well as the decline. It struck her. A low trill encompassed the room.  
  
"How quiet  
  
How quiet my chamber is  
  
How silent  
  
How silent my chamber is."  
  
Dumbledore sighed and looked back into the light pouring into his room.  
  
"Is anybody there?  
  
Does anybody care?  
  
Does anybody see  
  
What I see?"  
  
He folded his arms once again behind his back.  
  
Hermione, taking this as a signal that the song was over, stepped into the room.  
  
"We do, Professor," she whispered.  
  
The aged Headmaster twisted in his place to look at them. A bright twinkle was in his eyes beside a larger sadder one.  
  
"Ah, Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, Harry. How wonderful to see all of you."  
  
Hermione risked a small smile. "Professor, we aren't here to discuss V- Voldemort, but we do wish to speak with you."  
  
His eyes twinkled more brightly and merrily. "Then have a seat." He conjured up some nice chairs from the air. "All three of you."  
  
They sat quickly and Hermione leaned forward to speak. "I know that we're disturbing you, sir, but I think I might be starting to understand a little more of this little musical influenza that's taking over the school. You see, this morning I had a dream. In this dream there was some man coming up to the school from Hogsmeade. It was dark out so I couldn't see his face properly, but he was singing and he said a spell. I think he has something to do with it." She paused. "In fact, I'm sure of it."  
  
Dumbledore looked at her with his hands folded in front of his face. He was clearly in deep thought. "I must say, Ms. Granger that I most wholeheartedly agree with you. That man in your dreams is probably a very real person who is, even at this very moment, headed towards Hogwarts." He rose from his seat. "I suggest that the three of you head off to the Great Hall for lunch. It is nearing that time, you know." And with that he left the office.  
  
Hermione turned to her stunned friends with a look of shock on her face to rival their own. "I wonder." she started.  
  
Ron glared at her. "Now don't start that song again!" he cried. "It took me long enough to get over the little exercise you gave me the first time. I don't want to run down the stairs at breakneck speed."  
  
Hermione gave him a venomous stare. "I wasn't going to sing. I was just wondering where Dumbledore was going."  
  
"How can you tell you weren't going to sing?" Ron shot back. "It's not like the rest of us get a warning. Why should you?"  
  
"Now, really, Ron, I wasn't going to sing! I think that you just might be jealous that I sing so much better than--"  
  
"Jealous?! Jealous, you say? I am not jealous of a bushy-haired girl who sings like a chipmunk!"  
  
Hermione's temper bristled. "A chipmunk? Really, Ron, I don't sing all that bad." She smirked. "You, on the other hand--"  
  
Harry stood up between them. "Enough! You two can argue later. Right now, all I want is something to eat and maybe a good rest before afternoon classes, all right?"  
  
So they went, with Harry in the lead and Ron and Hermione a few paces behind still arguing over who made the better singer.  
  
On their way to the Great Hall they met up with Seamus, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, the Creevey brothers, Ginny, Parvati, and Lavender. They were all laughing, having a good time, as they made their way to lunch. The trio gladly joined them.  
  
Lunch was a huge affair. Everyone was chattering about the different songs that they'd sung, or heard sung that no one was really eating all that much. Hermione heard some Hufflepuff second years talking about how the DADA teacher sang about Expelliarmus. Even the teachers seemed amused, that is, all except for McGonagall and Snape who looked mortified.  
  
All went well during lunch, but after was a different story. As soon as they got out of the Hall and stopped to talk by the house points hourglasses, a very disgruntled Professor Snape happened upon them.  
  
"Hey you!" He called at them. "What are you doing inside on a day like this when you could be outside making--," he grimaced, "children of yourselves?"  
  
Grumbling, they went out of the doors out to the grounds.  
  
"Why does he have to be so grumpy all the time?" Lavender asked. "It's not like anyone's ever really done anything to him."  
  
The two Weasleys, Harry and Hermione glanced at each other briefly, exchanging silent understandings.  
  
"I know what you mean," Dean said. "He's always so...sour."  
  
Seamus pulled his robes about him in a Snape like fashion. He put a smirk on his face and glared at Harry. "Hey you?" he called in his best Snape impression.  
  
Harry, catching the game, responded in kind with his best innocent voice. "Who me, Professor Snape?"  
  
The girls giggled and the boys grinned. "Yeah, you," Seamus continued. "Why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you to the Headmaster's office, ya punk?!"  
  
Harry knelt down before him with his hands clasped in front. "Dear kindly Professor Snapie," he sang.  
  
"You gotta understand  
  
You got us all so apie  
  
Of course we're out of hand  
  
Our ingredients all are smashéd  
  
Our potions all are drunk  
  
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!"  
  
All the boys knelt beside Harry and began to sing.  
  
"Gee, Professor Snapie  
  
We're very upset  
  
We never got the grades that every child oughta get  
  
We ain't no ignoramus, we're misunderstood  
  
Deep down inside we're very good"  
  
Harry stood. "We're very good!"  
  
They continued in unison:  
  
"Very good, very good  
  
We are so damn good  
  
Right inside the worst of us is good!"  
  
Seamus/Snape pretended to cry. "That's a touching good story!"  
  
Harry put an arm over his shoulder. "Let me tell it to the world!"  
  
Seamus whipped Harry's arm away from him. "Just tell it to Dumbledore."  
  
The boys scrambled around before picking Dean Thomas to be Dumbledore. Dean folded his hands in front of himself and looked to Harry with bright and happy eyes. Harry sat beside him and pretended to be very sad and confused.  
  
"Dear kindly Dumbledore," he sang.  
  
"My parents both are dead  
  
Even with your sympathy  
  
I cannot get ahead!  
  
My auntie doesn't want me  
  
She thinks I'm really bad  
  
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so sad.  
  
Dean/Dumbledore stood up. "Right!"  
  
"Professor Snapie, you're really a square  
  
This boy don't need me, he needs Minerva's care.  
  
It's just his lack of family that needs to be cured  
  
He is sociologically disturbed."  
  
Harry stood. "I'm disturbed!"  
  
The other boys continued to sing again.  
  
"He's disturbed, he's disturbed  
  
He's the most disturbed  
  
Like he's sociologically disturbed."  
  
Dean waved his hands in the air to get the attention back on him. "Wait, wait. In the opinion of this school we say he's depraved on account of he ain't had a normal home."  
  
Harry ran over to Ginny. "Hey, I'm depraved on account of I'm deprived!" She laughed.  
  
"So take him to Dep. Headmistress!" Dean continued.  
  
Seamus looked up. "Dep. Headmistress, Yeah!"  
  
Again they began to scramble around before grabbing Hermione to be the McGonagall. She looked at him sternly over a quickly conjured set of square spectacles identical to those of the real Professor. Harry sat beside her and began to sing.  
  
"My friends are really crazy,  
  
Some are real S.O.B.'s  
  
Some are just plain lazy  
  
And others simply hate me  
  
I'm failing all my classes  
  
I can't get any rest  
  
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!"  
  
Hermione/McGonagall stood. "Yes, Professor Snapie," she sang.  
  
"You're really a dope  
  
This boy don't need me  
  
Just a little extra hope.  
  
Society's played him a terrible trick  
  
And deep down inside him he is sick."  
  
Harry shot up. "I am sick!"  
  
The other boys took over again.  
  
"He is sick, he is sick  
  
He is sick, sick, sick  
  
Like all the way inside him he is sick."  
  
Hermione cleared her throat. "In my opinion, this child doesn't need to talk with me at all. Having no hope is purely due to the Ministry. (Harry interrupted, "Hey, it's all due to the Ministry!") So take him to the Minister!"  
  
They scrambled about some more before settling on Colin Creevey to be the plump Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. Harry sat beside him like he had all the others before him and began a new bit.  
  
"Dear kindly Mr. Minister,  
  
They say to come to you  
  
I really do not like you  
  
Because you're such a fool!  
  
It's not I'm anti-government  
  
I'm only anti-Fudge  
  
Glorioski, that's why I won't budge."  
  
Colin/Fudge stood up. "EEE! Professor Snapie," he sang.  
  
"You've done it again.  
  
This boy don't need a Minister  
  
He needs a year in the pen!  
  
It ain't just a question of misunderstood!  
  
Deep down inside him  
  
He's no good!"  
  
Harry jumped up. "I'm no good!"  
  
The boys broke into song again.  
  
"He's no good, he's no good  
  
He's no earthly good  
  
Like the best of him  
  
Is no damn good!"  
  
Harry began to go from one person to the other as they said what the Minister and Snape thought of him.  
  
"The trouble is he's lazy!" cried Dennis Creevey.  
  
"The trouble is he drinks!" yelled a hysterical Lavender.  
  
"The trouble is he's crazy!" screamed a doubled over Ron.  
  
"The trouble is he stinks!" giggled Ginny.  
  
"The trouble is he's growing!" laughed Parvati.  
  
"The trouble is he's grown!" snorted Neville.  
  
They all knelt down before Seamus/Snape and sang in unison.  
  
"Snapie, we've got troubles of our own.  
  
Dear Professor Snapie  
  
We're down on our knees."  
  
Harry raised his hand and sang alone.  
  
"Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease!"  
  
They sang together again.  
  
"Gee Professor Snapie  
  
What are we to do?"  
  
They stood up all as one in front him.  
  
"Gee Professor Snapie  
  
"Snape you!" They cried as they pushed Seamus down all together.  
  
They all laughed in unison. Ginny and Hermione even fell over onto the ground from an unstoppable case of the giggles.  
  
"Can you imagine what would happen if we did that inside?" Neville said between gasps for air and laughs.  
  
Harry laughed harder. "Yeah. But can you imagine what would happen if SNAPE heard that?" They all erupted into another round of laughter.  
  
"I can very well imagine, Mr. Potter," an icy voice said from above them. They stopped their hysterics and looked up into the angry and sallow face of their most hated and most feared Professor. In a scurry of feet and cloth they got to their feet.  
  
Snape sneered at them one by one. "I think that ten points each ought to make you have a bit more respect for me don't you?" He glared at Harry. "And an extra ten from you, Potter, for making fun of many respected members of society as well as yourself." Harry glared right back.  
  
With a final sneer and a swoosh of the robes he stalked away from them, leaving them to grumble over and over again about how unfair he was, how rude it was to take extra points from Harry, and how annoying it was to sing at all the wrong times.  
  
~`~`~`~`~  
  
Wow, another chapter in such a short time! Woohoo! I'm getting back into the writing thing finally! Ok, well, now that I'm done being me, why don't you review? It's not hard. Oh, and the songs in this chapter were variations of "Is Anybody There?" from 1776 and "Gee Officer Krupke" from West Side Story. Oh, and one more thing, if you read this, please go read my other story. You can find it on my profile. It's called "A Time to Remember." Thanks for reading! 


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